I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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