hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
