on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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