Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
