im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
