But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
