I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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