im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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