After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
