We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were trust falling into bushes
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
FUCK WHALES
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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