Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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