so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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