I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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