before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
