i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
