Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
