Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
