Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
