'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
