I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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