It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
