You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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