Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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