you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
