I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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