the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
