we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
