I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
