I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
