cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
