Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I could make wine with my vomit
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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