You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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