Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
