ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize