someone get that fucking seahorse.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
