I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
