exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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