Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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