i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
please come you make the beer taste better
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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