I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
