i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
