I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Houston, we have a squirter
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
