we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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