we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
