How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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