Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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