If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
