I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
