i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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