State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Two words: blizzard sex
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
