I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
