I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
