well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
