it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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