"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
