What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
