You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
