I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
