I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
