it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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