Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
