Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I did not marry a roomba.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
