Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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