grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize