He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
