She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
