I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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