Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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