Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
