Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
