But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So much Jack, so little girl.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
