I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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