Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
